Tuesday, September 20, 2011

"I feel like an idiot."

Amy is making waves. I am excited, worried, and sick to my stomach, but glad she TALKING and TELLING.

I contacted Amy's social worker who is shepherding our move to the new house, forwarding the email I sent to Residential Director, specifically asking about the 30-day notice. 
Just spoke with my supervisor and no you do not need to give any notice or 30- day notice for that matter.

 Ok.  Well, that's solved.  No notice.

I wandered away from my phone to find a missed call from a familiar are code, and sure enough, in the message I could hear my sister in the distance talking to someone.  I called back.  A direct line to my sister's confidant.  When she'd come in to work that day, Amy was visibly upset.  The went aside to speak.  The Confidant couldn't make out what Amy was saying, she was so riled up.  Sobbing, speaking quickly and cryptically.  She wouldn't name names for the confidant.  Tried to call me so I could help her explain.  I told her about the attitude of inconvenience at Amy's home, about the slow delivery of take as needed meds, the one phone call a night, the accusations of lying.  The Confidant was pissed, which is such a relief, to interact with another sane person.  I offered to forward the confidant the email I'd send to Residential Director the night before to fill her in; she accepted and asked if she could call me when Amy was with her in the morning.

Suddenly, it's 8:44 pm, and Amy hasn't called me yet.  Yep, yesterday I was delirious from over literally two dozen phone calls, but if she doesn't call me at all?  I worry.  No answer on her phones.  Turns out she was just getting in bed, which is awesome.  Sometimes she IN BED at 7:30.  Meaning, she's already showered, and she's IN BED for the night.

Amy tells me "I feel like an idiot".  She spoke up.  Told staff she was having problems with that she was having problems to which they said that they don't know what she's talking about, and don't remember the incidents she describes, and that they don't have any problems with her.  And now Amy feels like an idiot.

I explained to Amy that what she feels is very real, and people saying they don't agree or didn't experience it that way doesn't change anything.  And that this is part of ongoing emotional manipulation.  Besides, I tell her, how often does it happen that someone else doesn't remember a situation that is giving Amy stomach pain.  Just nights ago, the caretaker who told Amy she could only make one phone call a night told me she never told Amy that.

We talk through all this, I think things are going well.  Then Amy tells me again "I feel like an idiot."


Post a Comment