Doh!

I bought the WRONG IPHONE.

Yep.  I don't know.  A lot is going on.

She opened it, LOVED IT, asked fifty times if we could use it now (we hadn't set it up yet).  Annie put in some time in the morning helping her try to use Siri, and it just wouldn't work, no matter who tried it.  At some point, Annie said to me "is it possible this phone doesn't have Siri?"  Nah, nah, of course it does.

An hour later it clicked.  No, the 4S has a Siri.

Lucky us, we have Walker, and he took care of business, installing the 4S operating system.  For last 24 hours we dealt with some shenanigans of having to greet Siri dozen and dozens of times, hoping it would eventually connect.  Came in from sanding lawn furniture this evening and said "Hello, Siri" and it worked!  Woo hoo!